


Kakashi and Sakura’s Awkward Adventures At Sex

by Shikabootay



Category: Naruto
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkward Sexual Situations, Dialogue Heavy, Drabbles, F/M, First Time, Hokage Hatake Kakashi, Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pokemon References, Shorts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:13:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24430045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shikabootay/pseuds/Shikabootay
Summary: A collection of shorts based around Kakashi and Sakura’s different sexual encounters.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi
Comments: 20
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I think I was a little bit out of it when I came up with this idea after a conversation with Riseoftheblossom.  
> So here are my ramblings.  
> Thanks to the great Banoffee for beta-ing like always!

“When you said ‘Let’s try roleplaying,’ I didn’t think you meant this…” Sakura growled at her husband. 

She was in one of her old nursing uniforms, her hair pinned up intricately under a nurse’s hat. The six inch white heeled boots she wore went all the way up her thigh. This was something she was used to doing for her husband, currently the number one perverted man in Konoha, but the Chansey plush she held in her hand threw her off. 

She glared at Kakashi, who was dressed as one of the professors from that damn Pokémon show he watched every once in a while. Why a grown ass man would watch an anime for kids, she had no idea. Though she had to admit, he looked good in a lab coat, and the way the tight black shirt he was wearing underneath made her want to reach out and feel what’s under it… but this was ridiculous!

“I thought you said you wanted to try something new?” Kakashi asked, raising a brow.

“You should have been more specific when you said ‘roleplaying sounds like fun.’ Or when you said that you didn’t care what it was. If you ask me, I think you make a sexy Nurse Joy.”

Clenching her fists in frustration, Sakura took a deep breath to try and calm herself down. 

“Okay… okay… walk me through this. I have no idea what I’m doing right now…”

“Well… your name is Nurse Joy and I need you to tend to my Pokémon. Whatever is necessary.”

The pinkette sighed, trying her best to get into character. When she finally relaxed, she was a whole different person.

“Oh my Professor! What brings you here?” Sakura asked innocently. 

“Well, you see… my Onyx doesn’t seem to be feeling well. I was wondering if you would check him out,” Kakashi answered, in his normally low baritone voice. 

Sakura sauntered her way over to Kakashi, letting her hand feel up his toned chest. 

“That sounds horrible, professor! I wouldn’t mind taking a look at your… Onyx— What the _hell_ is an Onyx?”

“Mah, Sakura-Chan. Nurse Joy would know what an Onyx is. You broke character…” He pouted behind his mask.

“This Nurse Joy doesn’t… what am I supposed to be looking at?”

Her husband sighed.

“It’s a rock type Pokémon that’s rather long. Like a rock snake if you will.”

“...so your Onyx is your…”

“It’s my penis.” 

The pinkette deadpanned, surprised by all of this.

“But this is a kids show! How in the world can you sexualize a kids show?!”

“You’d be surprised… Now where were we?” Kakashi went on, wanting to get back to what they were doing.

Rolling her eyes, Sakura placed her hands back where they were a few seconds ago.

“...what’s wrong with your... Onyx… Professor?” She asked sweetly, her hands going to take off the lab coat gently. 

“You see, he’s been sad for a few days. He hasn’t moved and it’s making me worry.” Kakashi answered.

“That’s not good,” She chided, her hands going to undo the drawstrings to his pants.

“Why didn’t you come to me sooner?”

“You always seemed so busy with everyone else. I didn’t want to be a bother. Maybe you were busy with someone else’s Onyx. Why would I interrupt that?” 

Sakura stopped what she was doing.

“Do we really have to call your dick an Onyx? Like of all things, it had to be a Pokemon...”

“There are other long Pokemon that could be counted. There’s Arbok, which is a snake Pokémon. Then there’s Seviper, another snake. Your chest would be jigglypuffs, and my sack could be Cherubi. Or you could just call them Pokeballs.” He went on to explain, ignoring how pink her cheeks became. 

“Okay, that’s it…” Sakura grumbled, turning around to go towards their shared bathroom.

“This is too weird, I’m out.” 

“Wait…” Kakashi mumbled, reaching out and grabbing her wrist before she got too far away. Once she stopped and faced him, he pulled down his mask to give her a shy smile. 

“I’m okay with you calling it an Arbok,”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura attempts to seduce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy early birthday Riseoftheblossom! This chapter is specifically for you! I hope you love it!
> 
> Thanks to Banoffee for the help like always!
> 
> And for this chapter, just to let everyone know, the italics is Kakashi talking to Sakura through the earpiece. Just in case it confuses people.

It was a few minutes past 9 pm when Sakura entered the bar. 

Normally, this was a hang out spot for the shinobi before her, but she was asked to meet  _ him _ here where no one she knew would be. 

Sighing, she walked over to the old, wooden bar and sat in one of the old, red seats that squeaked when her bottom made itself comfortable.

“I don’t know how you talked me into this, but I swear to Kami, you owe me one…” She whispered into the ear peace she was wearing, hidden by some of her hair. 

“ _ You owe me one what…. over,”  _ The earpiece crackled, Kakashi smiling on the other end. 

“Don’t be a jackass. It’s just us on this channel. I’m not going to keep saying ‘over’ every time I finish a sentence.” 

“ _ Then how will I know your sentence is finished? … over”  _

“Kakashi.” She warned with a biting tone. 

“ _ Okay, fine… relax. Our target should be there soon.”  _

Rolling her eyes, Sakura flagged down the bartender and ordered her normal sake. As the older man went to fulfill her order, the doors to the bar opened up. She looked over her shoulder to see exactly the man they were looking for. 

Itachi Uchiha.

Why Kakashi thought this would be a good idea is beyond her. What was a conversation about who else they found attractive in the village turned into the both of them thinking of who to invite for a threesome. With a little bit more wine in their systems, they shortened the list down to three people; Ino, Yamato or Itachi. 

Ino was a no for obvious reasons, Yamato was a no because Kakashi knew him too well so Itachi was it.

Sakura watched Itachi sit himself down on the other end. He didn’t seem like he wanted to be social for the moment and she would have stayed away… but…

“ _ He’s not going to attack you or anything.”  _ Kakashi stated from where he was in the corner of the bar. 

“I know he won’t. He sees me as his younger brother’s best friend and former stalker. It’s not going to work. Besides, he works for you—“

“ _ Well technically, Sakura, you work for me too…”  _

Sakura sighed once again. 

“Okay.. okay…” 

The woman poured herself a shot of sake before flagging the bartender down. 

She asked the older man what Itachi was having, and ordered it for him. The bartender nodded and did exactly as asked, handing Itachi a cup of sake as well and pointing over to the lonely pinkette. 

Itachi looked at his drink, then over to Sakura then back down to his sake. He took a sniff of it before drinking the shot. 

“Okay, he’s drinking the drink… what now?” She said as inconspicuously as possible, knowing nothing could get past their target. 

“ _ I’m not sure. Why don’t you approach him?”  _ Kakashi suggested.

Sakura nodded her head then got up from her squeaky bar seat, approaching Itachi. 

“Hi,” Sakura said with a smile. 

“Do you mind?” She asked, motioning to the chair beside him. 

Itachi shook his head no, not even looking her way. 

“So…” the pinkette said, not knowing what to say around Itachi. It’s not like they’ve had a conversation without Sasuke, Kakashi or even Tsunade present. So far, this was way too awkward. 

“ _ Ask him how he is, Sakura. You know how to have a conversation.” _

Sakura took a deep breath.

“How… are you?” She repeated. 

“I’m okay,” He answered bluntly as he flagged for the bartender. 

“ _ Why don’t you try flirting with him?”  _ Kakashi said in her ear. 

Sakura cleared her throat, scooting herself a little closer to Itachi. Noticing, Itachi moved his seat further away from her, the stoic look on his face not telling Sakura much of anything. 

“But how—“ 

“But how...what?” The Uchiha raised a brow at the pinkette, confused by what she had said aloud. 

“Oh—er… how… are you?” 

“Haruno-San. You had just asked me that.”

“Oh yeah…. suppose I did… Heh…” She chuckled awkwardly. 

“Look, Haruno-San, I don’t know what you’re doing, but by knowing you have an earpiece in your left ear, I feel that you are trying to prank me.” 

“ _ Good Job, Sakura…”  _

Sakura began to chuckle nervously. 

“This? Oh. It’s not an earpiece. It’s—“ 

“Did Uzumaki-San or my brother put you up to it?”

“No— No! No one is trying to prank you. I’m just trying to…”

“Trying to what?”

“ _ You really aren’t good at this, Sakura….”  _ Kakashi laughed on his end.

“—Trying to…. get to know you! You're my teammate's brother and I realized I haven’t had a conversation with you. You know, by ourselves.” She said, her confidence dwindling. 

Itachi turned himself around to face Sakura, looking her in the eyes.

“Then why do you need an earpiece to do that?” 

Knowing she couldn’t keep lying to him, the pinkette broke eye contact. 

“It’s stupid… you don’t want to hear it.”

“Try me.”

“Okay...Well, you see…” she finally got out, her cheeks turning red. 

Itachi waited for her answer patiently. 

Giving up, too embarrassed to say anything else, Sakura stood up from the seat and bowed her head.

“I'm sorry for bugging you. I hope you enjoyed the drink.” 

Before Itachi could say anything, Sakura turned herself around and left the bar as quickly as she could. 

After he watched her go, Itachi scanned the room to spot a familiar mop of white hair in the corner of the bar. With a blank face, he approached him. 

“I have seen you do a lot of cruel things, Kakashi-sama, but that had to be one of the cruelest things ever.”

“Maa, Itachi-kun. That wasn’t mean—“

“She left the bar almost in tears. I assume you didn’t tell her I had already agreed?” 

Kakashi chuckled at that.

“I only want to see if she would do it, That’s all. And she tried… but you’re right. I better make sure she’s okay at least. Are we still on for tomorrow evening?”

Itachi answered with a classic ‘hm’ before getting up to leave himself. 

Once Itachi left, Kakashi sat still in the booth, chuckling to himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for kudos, so if you guys could kindly leave one, I would appreciate it so much!  
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi finds something interesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never been in this situation before, but according to people I've asked, this would be embarrassing or awkward for them.  
> Forever thank you to both Riseoftheblossom and Banoffee for the help like always!

It was about nine at night when Kakashi came home for the day. Placing his kage robes on the hook along the wall, he looked into the home. He found the living room to be empty. Normally Sakura was there to greet him but tonight she seemed absent, so Kakashi does what he does best. 

Letting his mask down, he began to breathe in the air around him, the smell telling him Sakura was still inside their home. She was probably in the shower, getting ready for bed, he guessed. With a wicked grin, he goes towards their shared bathroom to surprise her, maybe get a quick one before she actually does go to sleep.    
  
Walking past their bedroom, he found the door to be cracked open. With his mask down, he could smell that something went on in here. The bed looked made but it was heavily saturated with her scent.    
  
He knew, within a second, what went down.

With his mask still down, Kakashi began to search the room in hopes to find where the scent was strongest. He went through their drawers only to put everything back as neatly as he first saw them, seeing as there wasn’t anything giving off that sweet smell.    
  
Deciding to give up, Kakashi went over to the bed. He pulled the blankets from the bed to lay down, hoping to surprise Sakura when she came from her shower. As he laid down, the man put his hand under her pillow to support his head, but his hand touched something that kinda felt like rubber… Silicone?   
  
Taken aback, Kakashi grabbed onto whatever it was and pulled it out from under her pillow, revealing the item he didn’t know he was looking for. 

A silicone, purple  _ vibrator.  _ _  
_ _  
_ The man laughed lightly at the find, knowing that it had to have been used recently despite the clean smell it had to it. There was still an undertone of her scent no matter how much she tried to clean it.    
  
“What are you doing?” a voice came from the entrance to the bedroom.    
  
Kakashi turned around to face Sakura, keeping the phallic toy in his hand with his mask still down.   
  
“Nothing… What are  _ you _ doing?” the white-haired man asked, noticing the blush that began to form on the woman’s face. 

“...Kakashi…” she warned, trying her best not to panic. Keeping her cool, she pointed to the item in his hand. “Where… did you find that?”   
  
“Under your pillow. I promise, it was an accident,” Kakashi answered cooly, trying his best not to smirk since his mask was down.    
  
“...Were you  _ smelling _ it?”    
  
“No. I smelt something and had to investigate, but I promise I didn’t come here just to smell your vibrator. Did you name it?”   
  
“What?” the pinkette asked, obviously embarrassed by the question asked. “Who does that?”   
  
“Well I always thought that’s what women do. They give it nicknames like ‘Bob’ or something. Did you name it?”   
  
“No!” Sakura yelled, clenching her fist.    
  
“That’s good. Naming it would make me feel as if you liked it more than me--”   
  
“I don’t like my vibrator more than you. That’s ridiculous.”    
  
“Is it because mine isn’t purple?” Kakashi asked. Letting the smirk finally show.    
  
“What are you talking about?” Sakura asked once more as she made her way across the room, trying to snatch it from Kakashi but like always, he was too quick.    
  
“Can I have it back?” the woman questioned aloud, reaching across Kakashi’s body to try and grab the vibrator. He kept it out of her reach.    
  
“Does it matter why I have it? I’ve had it for a while, even before we were married.”    
  
“Oh, so you keep it around for nostalgia reasons?” Kakashi chuckled.    
  
“Oh-- come on!” Sakura shrieked, using one of her hands to pinch Kakashi on the shoulder, the surprise of it making him drop it on the bed.    
  
Sakura reached across Kakashi to pick it up, happy to have it in her hands once again.    
  
“There is nothing wrong with this. There are things it can do that you can’t. Don’t tell me you’re jealous of a vibrator…”    
  
“No, I’m not. I honestly found it out of nowhere. But now that I know what you were doing, I could help--” 

Sakura cut him off. “-- I’m not in the mood now.”    
  
She got up from the bed and went over to her drawers, only to put the item away. “If you’re so jealous of a vibrator, you can sleep on the couch tonight.”    
  
“You know, if the vibrator is better than me, I wouldn’t mind using it on you,” Kakashi suggested   
  


Blush coming back ,Sakura quickly shook her head.    
  


“Noo! That’s-- too weird, don’t you think?” she asked curiously.    
  
“Yeah… I don’t mind. I’d rather use that than you use it without me,” he answered, pulling his mask back up. “If the toy really is more satisfying than I am then I’m not doing my job, don’t you think?”   
  
Chuckling, Sakura walked back over to Kakashi, straddling him as she sat herself down. She wrapped an arm around his neck, her other hand coming to hold the man’s cheek.    
  
“Maybe I am more happy with my vibrator. Maybe it does satisfy me more. I don’t see the problem with it, do you?” 

“No,” was all Kakashi could say. “Do I still have to sleep on the couch?”   
  
“Maybe,” Sakura spoke with a smile, patting his cheek before getting up to leave the room.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Feel free to tell me what you think!


End file.
